And I guess, in a way, he did see me. Only, he had his beer goggles on. We fell into bed together with him apparently unaware of my identity and me thinking he was nowhere near as intoxicated as he was.
What was meant to be the most magical night of my life"what I thought was the turning point in our relationship, so to speak"turned out to be nothing special at all. Sure, I lost my V-card to the boy of my dreams, but what"s the point if he doesn"t even remember it" He literally woke up the next morning with no recollection of the fireworks we created beneath the sheets.
The blank stare he gave me when he asked me why I was in the guest bedroom with him the next day will forever be etched into my mind as one of the top five most humiliating moments of my life.
It was around six-thirty in the morning when the need to pee forced me out of Alden"s arms. I slipped on his shirt, along with my panties, before scurrying to the bathroom. I did my business and attempted to sneak back into bed with him. The thought of us waking up together after our night of bliss was something I was eagerly awaiting.
I could just see it so clearly in my mind: I would roll over to face him and he"d lazily blink his eyes open and run his knuckles over my cheekbone before drawing my lips up to his in a passionate kiss"morning breath be damned. Then, he"d declare his love for me, and we would make the long-distance thing, and the age-gap thing and the brother"s best friend thing work. Because, you know"love!
Only that isn"t how it went down. Nope. Not by a long shot. I snuck back into the room, and he lazily blinked himself awake and promptly asked, "What"re you doing in here, Small Fry" Did Nate send you to wake me up" Lazy fucker couldn"t even do it himself." She smiles a sleepy smile, his eyes roving over my body. "Hey, is that my shirt""
In that moment, my heart shattered. He truly had no clue.
With my tears threatening to spill, I shook my head and dashed from the room, leaving him to his hungover ramblings.
I shake off the memory of that painful morning and snatch a two-pack box from the shelf and head to the front of the store. At the cash register, the clerk shoots me these knowing looks, and I want so badly to scream that these tests aren"t for me, but that will only reassure her that they most certainly are mine.
As soon as she tells me the total, I slap down some cash, snatch my bag and dash out of the store"leaving my change and receipt behind.
All too soon, I"m home and pulling into my driveway. Luckily, I have the house to myself. My parents are at work, and Nate and Alden left the very same morning he unwittingly broke my heart to head back to college, to start his junior year.
I debate calling Alyssa, my bestie, and asking her to come over for moral support, but I don"t. I think this is something I need to do on my own. After all, if I"m going to be a mother"a freaking teenaged mother"then I need to be strong and independent.
I rip open the box and remove the foil-wrapped stick, placing it on the countertop. After reading the pamphlet front and back, I take the test, cap it, and place it on the counter to wait.
With three minutes to kill, I set a timer and scroll through social media. Bored with Facebook, I switch to Snapchat. The very first snap I see is from my brother. I open it and immediately regret it. On my screen is a short video loop of Alden and some random coed grinding on each other at a party.
My heart seizes painfully in my chest. And like a glutton for punishment, I switch back to Facebook and go to his profile. Right there, in bold, blue, soul-shattering letters, it says: In a relationship with Mia Collins. I stare at those six stupid words until my vision blurs with tears.
Finally, the sound of my alarm chiming breaks the spell. I close out of the app and steel my resolve. Whatever that test says, it"s going to be okay.
I inhale a deep breath and release it, dropping my eyes to the pregnancy test on the counter.
Two pink lines.
It"s been a week since I found out I"m going to be a mother. Seven days since I became aware that I"m growing a life inside of me. One hundred and sixty-eight hours since I sat shell-shocked on the bathroom floor, clutching that stupid little stick to my chest, wondering why me. My salty tears were a confusing mix of emotions"