Forget the glass slipper. Ditch the fairy godmother. Fuck being charming.
They"ll say this is filthy.
They"ll say this is wrong.
I say she"s *mine*, and nothing"s going to stop me from claiming my Queen.
It"s hard being King. And being a king without a Queen has made me very hard indeed. A royal ball to find my bride is the last thing I want " that is, until I lay eyes on her.
One look into those deep green eyes, and I know I"m lost. Addicted. Obsessed. One taste of those sweet lips, and one touch of my rough hands on her tempting curves, and I know I"ll tear my whole kingdom down to make her mine.
The world will try and stop this, and say this is wrong. They"ll say she"s no princess, but then, I"m no f*cking gentleman.
Her wicked stepmother wants to tear us apart, but she and the rest of the world are about to find out how foolish it is to get between me and what"s mine.
This is no fairytale, but the lady Emilia is about to find a very happy ending. And I"ll be giving her every inch of my crown jewels.
She"ll be my all. My everything. My Queen.
And I"ve got a big, thick, throbbing throne for her to sit on"Books in Series:Royally Screwed Series by Madison FayeBooks by Author:Madison Faye Books
There"s a line I once heard from an old sailor " a saying the men of the sea have should they ever become stranded out there. "Water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink."
I glanced around at the ball going on around me that night, and that"s the only thing I could think of: water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
To the sailors, it meant being lost out on the ocean, surrounded by water that you didn"t want to drink, since you can"t live off salt water. To me though, at that ball at my palace" Well, I felt their pain. There I was, a King of a whole country, young and in my prime, and surrounded by princesses and duchesses and ladies of all stations who were implicitly there to seek my attention. Men dreamed of a scenario like this their whole lives.
And yet" Water water everywhere, and not a fucking drop to drink.
I didn"t want a single one of them. I didn"t want their batted eyes, or coy smiles. I didn"t want them draping over me, as they had been all night. I didn"t want the lingered touches, the hugs that went too long, or in some especially bold cases so far, the whispered promises of what would come if I kept them in my bed that night.
I wanted none of it.
Running a kingdom is hard, and it takes a lot of damn time to do so. I had zero time for frivolities, or for the frivolous. And the women around me that night were the gilded definitions of frivolous. Fuck, the whole damn ball was frivolity, which was pissing me off. I sat there on my throne, up on the low stage that looked out over the whole ballroom, and stewed. I sipped my scotch, scowling to myself.
Somehow, I"d let Tomilson, my advisor, talk me into all of this. My friends had been no help at all either " encouraging the idea as well. I still wasn"t sure if they"d gotten behind it in order to really help me find a bride or just to mess with me and watch me sit there and sulk during a whole to-do I wanted no part of.
It was probably both.
But, that was the reason for the ball, and for the hordes of single women from my own kingdom of Badiff and abroad: to find a wife. I needed a bride. Or more importantly to the stability of my kingdom and its place in the world, I needed a queen.
But this whole "tradition" of throwing some big social event like the world"s shittiest speed-dating was hell to me. None of these women interested me. Yes, they were beautiful, and primped, and gilded, and from rich, connected families that I"d do well to incorporate into my line.
But, seriously, fuck that.
It was the modern world, not the fucking dark ages. I wasn"t King Arthur. I definitely didn"t have a round table. And my personal royal guards carried assault weapons, not spears and swords.
"So why the hell was I "finding a queen" like we still lived back then"
"Careful, you"re starting to look like you might be having too much fun."
I turned and glared at Prince Adam, my friend from the kingdom of Nessa.
"Hilarious," I muttered. Adam just grinned.
"No, really though, if you keep smiling like that, your face might stick."
I turned my scowl on Prince Shane, Adam"s brother, and gave him the same glare. The both of them snickered and sipped their drinks. Adam and Shane had been friends of mine since way back when we"d gone to boarding school together. If you wanted to get technical, Adam was the birth son of King Francis. Shane was just as much an heir though " the son of a lord of Nessa that Adam"s family had taken in and adopted after his had been killed in a car accident. He and Adam were the same age. The same build. The same snarky pricks when they wanted to get under my skin like they currently were.
"You know this whole thing is ridiculous."
"Maybe," Adam shrugged. "But for real, you do need a queen."
“I do not."
Shane snorted. "Yeah you do. If anything, you at least need to get laid."
"I can get laid whenever I want," I growled. "I"m King after all."
"And yet"" Adam grinned. "You don"t."
I waved my hand dismissively, and the both of them snorted this time.
"Ah yes, frivolous, right" That"s your word of the day at the moment isn"t it""
"I could change it to "go fuck yourself" if you wanted."
Shane chuckled as he went back to his drink. "See" That"s repression, man. You gotta let that out."
"Hey, you know you could just skip this whole ball thing and call up whatshername instead."
Sadly, I knew exactly who Adam was talking about, since he and Shane hadn"t let up about her since the incident. A man of my means and my position " well, we attracted a certain type of person sometimes. Or rather, a certain type of woman, specifically. The one my friends were still giving me a hard time about had somehow gained access to my hotel rooms while I was abroad for business, while I wasn"t there, and decorated the entire place with her underwear. I"m talking walls, pillowcases, the bathtub, fucking all of it. That"d be weird enough as it was, maybe even a little humorous. But after that, the same woman had lit fires outside on the castle grounds " fires that spelled things like "we were meant 2 B," or "urs always