One accident changed my life.
One single second changed everything for me.
In one terrifying moment, everything I knew was gone.
Music is the only thing that keeps me holding on.
When the opportunity arises for me to tour with country music star, Scarlett Belle, I take it.
Only it isn"t enough to lift the shadows of my past.
And when I meet him, dangerous and different, I can"t turn away.
He is forbidden to me.
The President of a Motorcycle Club.
A man who could bring noise back into my soundless world.
But the shadows of my past haunt me.
They linger like a dark nightmare, reminding me that we can never be.
Because my sins are far too heavy.
And my mind far too broken.
Music is the only escape I can allow into my life.
The only one that I will let seep through my hungry veins.
But he"s always there.
And he"s persistent.
But if he knew what I kept behind closed doors"no.
I must continue my life just the way it is.
Breathing in my nightmare.
Living in my Hushed Torment.Books in Series:Iron Fury MC Series by Bella JewelBooks by Author:Bella Jewel Books
THEN " AMALIE
"Are you listening to me, Amalie""
The croaky, frustrated voice fills my ears, but I keep my eyes on the road, my mind clear. Fighting. Always fighting. It"s like a wave that keeps crashing into me, over and over, no matter how hard I keep rising to the surface. His voice is low and pitched in a way that is irritating. Sometimes, I wish I couldn"t hear him so for a second I could remember how it felt to just breathe in the silence.
I loved him once.
Maybe I still do.
I"m not really sure.
That"s a terrible feeling, not being sure. But, in my mind, I have to know that if I"m doubting it, then my heart isn"t truly in it. I always believed that I"d know real love, the one that never fades, the one that captures your breath and never lets it go. From the moment I met him, I didn"t feel that. It was love, of a sort, but not the love I forever dreamed of.
I hum a tune under my breath"soft, soulful. I take myself to another place, a place where I can be just me: Amalie. A place where he isn"t, which makes me sad. A world where only I exist. I imagine my fingers gliding over the piano keys, I let my body feel the same things it feels when the music flows into me, hitting my soul, taking me to another world. A world of freedom. A world of happiness.
Music is my life.
"Amalie, I"m speaking to you!"
He"s always speaking to me. Or more so, at me. Over and over again, he throws his words at me. There is no happiness between us anymore. Four years together, and I"ve forgotten what it felt like to laugh with him. Maybe we were never a match. Dramatics were always high on his list. Opinionated. Loud. I"m the complete opposite. I like my world silent, except for music. Everything else is just a waste of energy.
"Amalie!" he barks.
I curl my fingers around the steering wheel, trying to stay calm. My therapist said not to feed it. Not to react when he"s behaving like this. She doesn"t understand how hard that is. He learned how to drive me to a point where I would explode, but I hated that side of myself. I"ve always been calm and at peace. Quiet. He brings out the worst in me. And then he turns it around and makes it my fault.
I"ve tried to break up with him. Three times.
He puts the guilt back on me, and my softness takes over and he wins.
But tonight, I"m calm. I"m at ease. I"m ready for freedom. Ready to pursue my dreams. I"m ready to be something else. Something better. Something different. An opportunity has come up for me and my music, and I"m going to take it. Besides, I know there is someone out there for him, someone better suited, someone who can make him happy.
I don"t think that someone is me.
It"s dark out, and the highway is mostly dead except for the few occasional cars passing by. The wind is howling, and the moon is full, sitting low, lighting up the whole sky, demanding its presence be felt. I glance at it for just a second and feel a sense of calm wash over me. I can do this. It"s for the best. I just have to hold strong.
I take a deep, calming breath and say in the kindest voice I can muster up, "We can"t be together anymore, Caiden."
My voice, while gentle, is also firm in its delivery.
"I beg your pardon""
His voice is clipped, and from the corner of my eye, I see him turn toward me. I can"t see his face, but I know he"ll be scowling, the furrows between his brows deepening. I keep my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road. Breathe in, and out.
"I"m sorry. I"ve tried. But it isn"t working. I don"t love you like I should and that isn"t fair on either of us. An opportunity has come up for my music, and I"m going to take it."
It takes him a while to reply, and my chest clenches with anticipation of his reaction. "You"re joking, right""
Oh, but I wish I was.
I suddenly like I"m carrying a heavy weight. I"ve made my choice, but it doesn"t mean that it was an easy one to make. Caiden has been a part of my life for long enough that I know I"ll miss his presence. But I won"t miss putting my life on hold, because our dreams are different. Our personalities are different.
We"re two of a different kind.
It won"t work.
"No. We"re not doing this again," he says firmly, arms crossing over his broad chest.
"Caiden," I say, keeping calm, remembering what my therapist said. Don"t make the situation worse, be straightforward and kind, but stand your ground. "I"m sorry, but it is happening. I"m leaving in two days."