The first time I met you, you were a stranger. The second time, you were my roommate. The third time, you made it clear you were about to become the biggest thorn my side had ever known.
You sing way too loud in the shower and use all the hot water.
You"re bossy as hell.
You make my life all kinds of complicated.
But no matter how hard I try, I can"t stop thinking about you.
Truthfully " I can"t stop wanting you.
I was going to tell you this. I was going to sit you down, swallow my pride, hang up my noncommittal ways and show you a side of me you nor anyone else has ever seen before " but then there was a game-changing confession; a bombshell so nuclear it stopped me in my tracks.
How I didn"t see this coming, I"ll never know.
P.S. I miss you.Books by Author:Winter Renshaw Books
She was not for everyone, but she was for me.
I"VE BEEN A DOG-WALKER on an episode of Will & Grace.
A bakery shop owner in a Lifetime movie.
Ryan Gosling"s kid sister in an indie flick that never saw the light of day.
Victim #2 in a season eighteen episode of Law & Order: SVU.
But today I"m faced with my most challenging role yet; a camera-less reality show called Girl with Lifelong Crush on Best Guy Friend starring Melrose Claiborne as " Melrose Claiborne.
Standing outside Nick Camden"s Studio City bungalow, I straighten my shoulders, smooth my blonde waves into place, and press my index finger against the doorbell. The heavy thump of my heart suggests it"s going to fall to the floor the second he opens the door"but I"m hopeful the butterflies in my stomach will catch it first.
He has this effect on me.
Every. Single. Time.
And that"s saying something because it takes a lot to make me nervous, to throw me off my game. But my crush on him has only intensified over the years, growing stronger with each unrequited year that passes.
But last night, out of nowhere, Nick called me"which was strange because Nick never calls. He only ever texts. He"s so against calling, in fact, that he has his ringer permanently set to "off" and his voicemail box has been full for the last six and a half years.
"Mel, I need to talk to you tomorrow," he"d said, breathless almost. There was a hint of a smile in his tone, giddiness. "It"s really important."
"Nick, you"re scaring me," I told him, half wondering if someone slipped something into his drink and he was drugged out of his mind. "Just tell me now."
"I have to tell you in person. And I have something to ask you, something crazy important," he said. "Oh my god. This is insane. I"m so damn nervous, Mel. But as soon as you get here tomorrow, I"ll tell you. I"ve been wanting to tell you about this for a long time, but I couldn"t. I couldn"t until now. But now I can. And I can"t fucking wait. This is huge, Mel. This is " oh, God."
"Nick "" I paced my bedroom floor, my left palm clasped across my forehead. In nearly two decades of friendship, I"d never heard Nick so worked up before. "Can"t you just tell me now""
"Come over tomorrow. Around three," he"d said. "This is something that needs to be done in person."
I ring his doorbell again before checking the time on my phone. Stifling a yawn, I rise on my toes and try to peek inside the glass sidelights of his front door. Knowing Nick, he probably got sidetracked or ran out for burritos and got caught up in conversation with someone he knows.
Then again " he was pretty insistent about talking to me in person at three o"clock about this "major" thing. I can"t imagine he"d space this off.
All night, I tossed and turned, trying to wrap my head around what this could possibly be, how I could know someone for so long and fail miserably trying to get a read on them.
Growing up, Nick lived next door, and the two of us were inseparable from the day he first moved into the neighborhood and I found him by the creek trying to capture bullfrogs"which I promptly forced him to set free. By the end of the day, we both realized our bedroom windows aligned on the second floors of our houses, and by the end of the week, he gave me a walkie-talkie and told me I was his best friend.
When we were ten, he gave me a friendship necklace"like the kind girls usually give to other girls. He gave me the half that said "best" and wore the "friend" half but always tucked it under his shirt so no one would give him any shit"not that anyone would.
Everyone loved Nick.
It wasn"t until the summer after seventh grade that Nick hit a growth spurt and everything changed.
His voice got deeper.
His legs got longer.
Even his features became more chiseled and defined.
It was like he aged several years over the course of a couple of months, and I found myself looking at him in ways I never had before. And when I closed my eyes at night, I found myself thinking about what it"d be like if he kissed me.
Almost overnight, I"d gone from running next door with a messy ponytail to see if he wanted to ride bikes " to slicking on an extra coat of Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers and running a brush through my hair any time I knew I was going to see him.
Suddenly I couldn"t look at him without blushing.
Unfortunately, I wasn"t the only one who noticed Nick"s head-turning transformation.
Nick"s door swings open with a quick creak and I don"t have time to realize what"s happening before he sweeps me into his arms and swings me around the front porch of his rented bungalow.