For nearly a year, they"ve been at war.
Cops. Forks. Eggs.
Two feuding neighbors who couldn"t be more opposite, forced to live next door to one another.
Neither is backing down.
She drives him crazy with her loud nineties rap music.
He gets under her skin the way he obsesses over his stupid perfect lawn.
She fantasizes about having sex with the hot nerd"but with duct tape over his dumb mouth.
He has dirty dreams of the bombshell beauty where he bangs the crazy right out of her"nightmares of course.
Anger isn"t the only thing heating up between these two.
They think this is a battle only one of them can win"
The growing attraction between them, though, seems to be far more stubborn than the two of them combined.Books by Author:K. Webster BooksJ.D. Hollyfield Books
Sundays are for Yardwork
I squat to inspect one of the heads of my in-ground sprinkler system that"s not spraying like it"s supposed to. What the fuck" Two years ago, I paid forty-seven hundred dollars for this system so it would water my yard like clockwork while I"m at work. It"s on a timer and everything. So why the hell is this head acting up" I push my black-rimmed glasses up my nose and squint.
I pull my knife from my gym shorts pocket and flip it open. Something brown is hardened on one side. I pick and pick at it until I see bright pink underneath.
No fucking way.
A growl rumbles through me as I whittle away at the gunk. Gum. It"s gum on my goddamned sprinkler head. As if on cue, music blasts from the house next door and I cringe.
Instead of a homewrecker, she"s a neighborhood wrecker. I swear the value of my house dropped at least fifteen grand the moment she pulled up in her cherry-red convertible Mustang with her oversized sunglasses perched on the end of her upturned nose. I remember the day"a year ago"when she climbed out of her sporty car, blew a big pink bubble, and trampled all over my fire and ice hostas to introduce herself. I"d bitched her out for ruining my plants and that is how it"s been ever since.
Her ruining the neighborhood and me trying to do damage control.
Fury bubbles up inside me as I scrape her gum from the sprinkler head. As I listen to Tupac"s "California Love" blaring from her backyard, I want to turn the knife on myself and carve out my eardrums.
I can"t take this anymore.
I"ve done everything including resorting to calling the cops.
She just charms them with her big, flirtatious grins. Shows a little cleavage and gets her way. With them. I am immune to her bullshit. My tolerance level for her obnoxious behavior is low and nearly every day I"m going off on her for some reason or another.
I want her gone.
And fuck how I"ve tried.
You"d think being the president of the Sprawling Oaks Neighborhood Homeowner"s Association would give me some pull. Nope. She"s not doing anything illegal and she pays her dues, so I can"t exactly issue a lien on her property or call the city on her. I"m out of ideas and it"s pissing me off. With a huff, I scoop up the hardened remains of her gum and stalk through my yard around the side of my house. I reach her gate and bang on the wood.
"Lilith!" I yell.
The song on the radio changes to "Big Poppa" by The Notorious B.I.G. and I lose it. She doesn"t even have good taste in music. It"s fucking maddening. I yank her gate open and storm into her backyard.
"Hey, Willy!" she chirps and raises her glass to me.
My gaze, against my will, rakes across her body as she bakes in the sun. Her tits are divine in a bright orange two-piece bikini that leaves little to the imagination and makes her skin more golden than usual. It"s distracting sometimes that she"s hot. Really fucking distracting.
"Bloody Mary, neighbor"" She grins at me and my blood boils. Her messy dark brown hair is piled up in a wild bun that fits her personality. Those lips"fuck, those lips"are painted a brilliant crimson that have dirty thoughts running through my mind at rapid speed.
Focus, Will, goddammit.
"This," I bark as I charge over to her and hold my fist out. "You left this in my sprinkler head." My tone drips with sarcasm.
Her nose scrunches up and she lifts her sunglasses to inspect what"s in my palm. "Ew, sick. Keep your dirt in your flowerbeds. I don"t want to see that."
"It"s your gum," I snap.
She lets out a laugh that has her full tits jiggling with the movement. Again, fucking distracting. "Oops."
I glower at her, but she"s nonplussed. "Keep your gum out of my yard. And do something about your weigela. It"s overgrown and an eyesore."
She jerks her head down and inspects between her thighs, which makes me inspect between her thighs.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"There is nothing wrong with my weigela," she shrieks. "It"s maintained quite nicely, I can assure you." She stares up at me and points at my face. "Keep your dirty mouth and your dirty hands in your dirty yard, Wonka."
Apparently she thinks it"s cute calling me some variation of Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"since my name is William"because she does it all the damn time. It"s not cute. It"s annoying.
I blink at her in shock. Has she gone fucking mad" "Your what" Jesus, Lilith, I"m talking about the big, overgrown flowering shrub that"s slowly creeping into my yard."
"Oh! Well, why are you calling it fancy names for a vagina then"" Her brows are furled together as if she"s mad at me.