A recovering sex addict should never be faced with such temptation. But there she was, working in my casino and teasing me to the edge of insanity.
Thanks to her, I did the one thing I swore I wouldn"t do.
Falling off the wagon and so deeply into her I thought I might never find my way back to sanity. Everything is different with Eden, and I"ll do anything to keep her. Even if it means risking everything I"ve worked my entire life for.Books by Author:Tabatha Vargo BooksMelissa Andrea Books
I TOOK EDEN"S VIRGINITY, and it was the best fucking thing I ever did in my life. Yet, I was a mess. I was sick and twisted up inside, feeling disgusted with myself for giving in so easily.
Jumped off of the fucking wagon and right into an angel.
I stood outside Dr. Dempson"s office feeling more broken than I ever had.
Not even after I woke up next to a dead woman did I feel so terrible. I guessed in a lot of ways I"d murdered Eden, too. Closing my eyes, I could still see the heartbreak on her face when I left her.
I"d fucked her.
I broke through her barriers, snatching her virginity like it was nothing.
The sex was completely normal.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Yet it had been the best sex I"d ever had.
Then I fired her. Crushing any ideas she may have had about anything more with me. The fact was, I had nothing more to give.
Sure, I had money.
I could buy Eden anything she wanted and more.
I could offer her protection and anything else she might need, but that was it.
I wasn"t the emotional type. I didn"t feel anything for women. Hell, I didn"t feel anything for anyone. I"d been that way ever since my parents abandoned my kid sister and me.
I had nothing else to give.
I was nothing, and she deserved something. She deserved the fucking world and so much more.
When Dr. Dempson opened the door, I saw the shock on her face since I hadn"t called to set an appointment beforehand. But then she smiled at me as if she knew I was having a seriously bad time and turned to the side, giving me space to slide past her and into her office.
"You"re lucky you caught me, Zander. I was just on my way out,” she announced as I brushed past her. "I’m assuming something happened for you to show up like this""
"I slept with her," I blurted.
That was far from what we did, but I didn"t think Dr. Dempson would handle it to well if I told her I fucked Eden so hard she squirted all over the bed. Just thinking about the night before had me hard in my expensive designer jeans.
"Okay." She moved across the room, grabbing her trusty notebook and pen before sitting in her usual chair. "With the new girl" Eden, correct""
But Eden was far from a girl.
A girl wouldn"t have been so brazen with the things I wanted from her.
A girl wouldn"t have begged me to make her come or left vicious scratches down my back.
Eden was no girl.
I could still taste her sweetness on my tongue.
I could still feel her body drenching mine when she came all over me.
"How did that happen""
I stood, staring out the window and watching all the people who walked along the sidewalk. I wondered if any of them were sick in the head like me.
Did any of them get off imagining an innocent woman choking on cock"
Did they think of taking an innocent woman"s virginity"
Claiming her in one minute and then destroying her in the next"
"It happened because I wanted it to. I wish I could say I had no self-control, but I wanted Eden, and I didn"t care about the consequences. What does that mean, Doctor""
She sighed, pulled the glasses from her face, and leaned forward. "It means your human, Zander. Despite what happened, you"ve come a long way in the past six months. You"re not the same man who walked into my office the day after that night."
The night that haunted me.
I tensed when she spoke of the incident. I"d paid her good money to keep my secret, and even better money to never mention it again, yet she was there looking back at me and talking about the one thing that could crush me.
As it was, I had to force myself every day not to think of her or the way her dead eyes stared up at me.
I had to force myself to forget about the night I couldn"t remember.
I didn"t know her.
I"d just met her when I was out that night.
And that was it.
I had only one memory past that point, and it was of her telling me no. The next thing I knew, I was waking up next to a dead woman.
I walked the world every day unsure if I was a sex-addicted murderer. Uncertain of what I"d done to her.
I only knew she was bloody and her eyes and mouth were open wide in shock.
She was dead.
And she had refused me the one thing I couldn"t seem to get enough of.
It was too much.
"I thought we agreed never to speak of it," I said, my jaw tight with anger.
"That"s my job, Zander. It"s my job to dig deeper"to know what makes you tick"to figure out how to help you."